Know Thine Enemy #6: The Cleveland Indians

Reasons we should remember our founding fathers by blowing the Indians to smithereens:
  1. Chief Wahoo: The horribly racist Native American caricature still haunts the Indians, a grotesque specter of cultural insensitivity. (It's not as bad as cheering for a team whose mascot is a cultural epithet--I'm looking in your direction Washington Football Bigots.) I think for the next 100 years of their existence Cleveland should go by "The Whites" with Honkey Von Cracker III, whose image will be a pasty white boy with a blonde pompadour sipping chardonnay with a sketchy half grin, and a cocked eyebrow. I'm just saying, if we're going to offend someone, lets offend in equal measure.  *25 Loathing Points*
  2. Bob Feller: Great pitcher, giant tool. *5 Loathing points*
  3. The end of Captain Cheeseburger: If you are a semi-serious baseball fan, chances are that you've noticed the Indians aren't doing real well lately. They're last in the AL Central (after many "experts" predicted they'd win the World Series) and after a sweep in Chicago they seem to be too far out, too late in the season to hold on to hope. So, C.C. Sabathia, the ace of Cleveland's rotation for the last 7 years, will likely be gone from Cleveland soon, maybe to Milwaukke, maybe the Cubs, but where ever he goes, he should get whooped before he goes. *10 Loathing Points*
Reasons we should remember our founding fathers by, as so often has happened in our history, ignoring the Indians pain for our own gain:
  1. The Curse: With the Sox's demons (both Red and White) thoroughly exorcised, the Indians stand alone as the longest losing franchise in The American League. For 60 years the Indians have lost, lost, and lost some more. But more impressively, Indians fans don't whine about it like Red Sox and Cubs fans do, they just suffer, why add to that? *-6 loathing points*
  2. Half-strength: It's something I often bring up, but why crush the crippled? The Indians aren't nearly as bad off as the Nationals or Padres, but they are playing without All-Stars Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner, and are also missing Jake Westbrook and Fausto Carmona from their rotation. Half the Indians, half the beat down. *-7 Loathing Points*
Final Loathe-o-Meter Rating: 27 Points
Also Known As: the "comedy" of Kathy Griffin

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