Know Thine Enemy '09: The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim California on the Western Coast of America located on the Planet Earth of the Milky Way Galaxy

Okay, before I explain why we ought to pummel the Angels like Rocky pummeled a side of raw meat in his first movie, I feel I ought to vent.

I do not like this whole losing thing we've got going on. Like my partner in blogs Stinky, the Twins are instrumental in my happiness so, losing by absurd amounts of runs no es bueno. BUT--and as my fifth grade teacher would say...that's a biiiiiiiiiiiig BUTT--our losing is not the end of the world.  On the second Friday of last season we were 3-5 (that's a 37.5 winning percentage) the second friday of this season we are 4-7 (that's a 36.4 winning percentage). Different yes, end of the world different, no. Baseball seasons are not over after less than 20 games...only a truly stupid league would use such a small sample of games to discern the best teams in their sport (COU*football*GH!)

NOW: Reasons to pummel the Angels like Rocky pummeled a side of raw meat
1. Turn around: We struggled against the Mariners and the Blue Jays last year...and we struggled against them this year. If we keep doing well/struggling like we did last year, we will end up exactly where we were last year--good, but not great. We struggled against the Angels too...but if we turn that around and whoop their butts we'll end up better than last year--not just great, but the greatest. *4 Loathing Points*
2. Pretension: As the title of this post suggests, the Angels are trying a little too hard to appeal to everyone. The Yankees and the Red Sox have rabid fan bases and long histories appealing to the nation as a whole...the Angels want to be that kind of team too...just relax boys...be yourselves you'll be better off.  *22 Loathing Points*
3. Rally Monkey/ThunderStix: I said last year that the Rally Monkey was "pointless, irritating and obnoxiously overexposed." Perhaps the only thing worse than the Rally Monkey is the ThunderStick--though one alone is no where near as odious and reprehensible as two combining for a dull dimwitted thwapping. Just because the entire nation of Japan does it does not mean that we must do it too...I mean...we do not own robot seals do we? Give it up Angels. *91  Loathing Points*

Reasons we should thump the Angels like a Bozo Bop Bag which is fun for a little while, but ends up deflated in a corner
1. Torii: It's funny, when someone leaves the Twins we tend to ignore them, or just shrug our shoulders. AJ, Douggie M., Goozman, Jacque Jones...nothing...when you say Torii's name people smile, it cannot be stopped. He just radiates coolness and happiness. God bless the man...you gotta love him. *-65 Loathing Points*
2. Nick Adenhart: I think everyone knows Adenhart's story--top prospect, just won his first start of the season, killed by a drunk driver the same night. This is sad...very sad...sudden, tragic and not deserving of punishment. (Unlike Josh "No Remorse" Beckett...we will gladly give these guys a hug) *-34 Loathing Points*

Final Loathe-O-Meter Rating: 18 Loathing Points
(-38 Loathing Points)
Punishment: A hug that's a little too tight.

1 comment:

  1. Um you forgot that they are also in the universe. Silly you.