First lets look at the reasons to defenestrate the Blue Jays en route to a loud splat
1. Last Year: Like the Mariners, the Blue Jays came around at exactly the wrong time for the Twins last year, and caused a number of defeats that led to a one game playoff that led to a home run by the smoke monster man who shall not be named. Look Blue Jays, we're contenders...you're...well...you're Canadian. Back off. *31 Loathing Points*
2. Border Protection: Vile Canadians are invading our beloved homeland. They've already won two World Series, they are sending many of their players across our border and such diluting of the American market with cheap Canadian alternatives has inexorably harmed our economy--begone Canucks! BEGONE I SAY!!*
(*This shunning DOES not apply to Canadians who have migrated to the great white roof of the Metrodome: particularly if their names start with a J, and end with either an -esse Crain or an -ustin Morneau)
*28 Loathing Points*
3. Misuse: The Blue Jays are supported by MacKenzie Investments. Though I share a name with this investment firm, I do not support Toronto Blue Jays Baseball, nor do I support Canadian Investment firms or uncapitalized letter "K's". *14 Loathing Points*
Reasons to simply ask the Blue Jays to leave in a courteous manner commensurate with Canadian customs (rather than throwing them through a window).
1. Pye-McDonalds: Despite their status as low cost alternative Americans, Canadians are in fact valuable people in and of themselves. And sincere Blue Jays fans Steve McDonald and his family stand apart as excellent people. It's hard to break the heart of good people--we should do it, we just shouldn't do it cruelly. *-30 Loathing Points*
2. Sucks to be You: Despite their vile efforts to undermine our greatness the Blue Jays are really suffering from some pretty terrible circumstances. They have winning seasons, but not as winning as Boston and New York. They are underdogs, but not as underdoggy as Tampa and Baltimore. The anonymous team in the world's most anonymous nation...yeah, it sucks to be you Toronto...here, have some pity. *-16 Loathing Points
Final Loathe-O-Meter Rating: 27 Loathing Points
(+ 14 Loathing Points from Last Year)
Punishment--Spending all season on a tour bus with nothing but Celine Dion tapes to pass the time.