Q: "Why are you bowling pins?"
A: We are not bowling pins. We are peanuts.
Q: "Even more importantly, why do you have a tail?"
A: Because I am evil. Or plotting to take over the world. Possibly both.
Q: "And why from heaven?"
Stop asking silly questions.
Q: "Why is Joe Crede a wrestler with facepaint?"
Because. Read the entry.
Q: "You consistently characterize opposing players as vampires and as the four horsemen of the apocolypse, and have depicted them being punched in the face by Honus Wagner and ripped apart by your roommate's dog. Aren't you worried you're going to get in some sort of legal trouble for this?"
A: No. We have spoken to two lawyers on the subject. One thinks that we could get in trouble. The other lawyer thinks the first lawyer is full of crap. We agree with the second lawyer. Plus we have a disclaimer which clearly states that we will bake cookies for anyone who is offended by what they see here, and cookies solve everything. So do shark pits...but shhh don't tell. Additionally, our threats of violence hold no weight because a) Honus Wagner cannot come back from the dead and b) my roommate's dog weighs about 20 pounds. We only make unrealistic threats of violence because in reality, we are probably the two least violent and/or hateful people on the planet.
Q: "Why are you Twins fans? Do you just like pain?"
A: We believe in miracles. We also believe that awesome baseball trumps just spending money on guys who can hit the ball really hard and really far. Also Gardy is the coolest person ever born and it's criminal that he hasn't won manager of the year for the work he's done with the Twins. It's amazing how much they still win with young players and a meager budget, and we here at PfH are confident that one of these years, they will win just a little bit more than everyone else. And even if they don't, we still love them.
Q: "How are you so totally awesome?"
A: Years of practice.
You continue to be a font of all knowledge ever. This was a great way to wake up, after having a nightmare about the blog being deleted.
ReplyDelete(years of practice were totally worth it)
Two things:
ReplyDelete1) Not all of those questions are mine.
2) Your description of a hot dog with the works makes me HUNGRY.
2.5) My questions are perfectly awesome.